When Things Go Wrong at the Candy Shoppe

So there's a big store in my neighborhood that sells stationary, plush toys, hair accessories, jewelry and candy. Simply put, the place just peddles CUTE.



See what I mean?

But amidst all this G-rated fare, I soon ventured upon some pretty ridiculous items.



Is it wrong that my thoughts immediately go to "heroin" instead of "vaccine shot"?

And then things got weirder in the chocolate aisle:



"Oh Honey, you bought me....porn...oh wait! No, it's...CHOCOLATE...porn."
Apparently, the headlines read something like um, "How to Mature Faster into a Man" and something about "extending the hours of..." etc...Apparently, you can open up the "magazine" to discover chocolates in the shapes of some sexy bodyparts.
I made the mistake of asking my mom to translate the cover. "Well, it's not nice things, Helen. Are you sure you want to know?"

BUT THE CROWNING GLORY WAS WHEN I DISCOVERED THESE!



MARSHMALLOW SANITARY PADS! I finally found them.

I'll be buying these babies in bulk before I come home. You know..for presents. Any takers?