So the other day I had to restrain myself from projectile vomiting on this Canadian White Dude who made this bold, ABSOLUTE statement:
“Yea, I was just wondering the other day what it’d be like to be with a Black chick, I never dated Black before…no..no..sorry. It’s got to be Asian. ONLY Asians. Yea, I’m definitely more into Asians now.”
Oh no he DIDN’T. What the DAMN!? Women are PEOPLE! This isn’t like Sean John versus Vera Wang!
Living in Asia, and mingling with the English speaking community, I’m already resigned to the harsh reality that I’ve landed into the Mecca of Foreign Guys Who Have a Thing for Oriental Pussy Blossoms. Usually, they don’t bother me so much because they are generally smart enough to know that there’s an Asian Girl they want..and it ain’t me. They usually go for the girls with the weak English, not womanly..but GIRLY look, 100% Feminine no male traits, deferential, polite with a propensity to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT who adore/worship Western Men in blind devotion.
So yea, they want a Stepford Asian Fembot or some shite like that.
I already suspect a large number of Foreign Males that I know in Taipei have Yellow Fever. Dude, some of their MySpace profiles are like virtual harems. It’s like they collect Asian Girls as collector cards. BUT, they don’t go sniffing up my tree, and they don’t acknowledge or speak about Asian women in THAT WAY in front of me…perhaps they fear a swift kick in the groinal area or that I will most likely react as prey does next to a predator and RUN LIKE THE DICKENS. But I also prefer to think that by now they understand my personality more to know that as a person, this kind of talk would really ANNOY THE SHIT out of me and cause me some sort of emotional distress. So out of respect? I hope? They save this shit talk for their male buddies.
But this Canadian White Boy did not know better, and he’s lucky I didn’t verbally castrate him.
I didn’t at the time, because I was emotionally tired. And I know if there is truly one thing that is sissyphian and a BIG TIME WASTER, it’s convincing someone with Asian Fetish…that he/she has Asian Fetish. An even bigger time waster would have to be convincing a person who admits he/she has Asian Fetish…that it’s wrong.
They are not likely to change. No person with Asian Fetish in their right mind is going to listen to my tirade and say, “HOLY COW! You are PERFECTLY RIGHT about the way I live my life. I have been wrong about my highly limited views of Asian people…when you said that highly thought provoking informative sentence, you systematically cracked my entire belief system down…and now I am cured of this cursed Yellow Fever. Hallelulliah! Now I can appreciate ALL RACES. GOD BLESS YOU.”
Shit. If some dude ever said this to me un-ironically, my bet would be that he was just trying to sleep with me. Point is. This is highly unbelievable, and to all you people who think you can try, god bless your noble hearts, but I think it will just cause you a lot of frustration, sorrow, and white hair. Stay young and beautiful!
But what can you do instead? I recommend standing up for your right to ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET MAD. If it smells like shit, it is shit. If someone says something that makes you uncomfortable…that’s because the person is incapable of understanding how you feel or just doesn’t care..so you should tell that person before engaging in passive aggressive revenge tactics. (Spreading rumors about small penis size and pushing them in front of oncoming buses are some of them.)
In retrospect I should have just told Canadian White Dude to shut the hell up. Or just excuse myself. That was my mistake. Because while I can’t preach how someone ELSE should change the way they are psychologically, I can defend WHY I don’t want to hear this kind of shit talk and be exposed to this.
Which leads me to ANOTHER fucking headache…dealing with a close friend who seemingly refuses to VALIDATE my anger or reasons for feeling this anger. Maybe it’s because he’s a guy. Maybe it’s because he’s Asian himself and doesn’t seem to understand WHAT THE BIG DEAL is. If he’s fine with hearing his friend talk about Asian chicks like that, why shouldn’t I be fine with it?! I honestly think that is how he feels. Everytime lately when I bring up how POO it was to have to hear this bile spill from Canadian White Dude’s mouth, I’m the one who ends up having to defend myself. WTF?!
It’s so typical. A woman gets all huffy because a guy makes insensitive comments, and she’s OVERREACTING. Or worse, making something small seem bigger than it really is. Frankly, I can deal with Canadian White Dude better than with my friend right now. I’m not that personally invested in that character, he’s just ignorant, and we aren’t close.
But now my close friend is needling me. I have to define what is the difference between fetish and preference. Am I being a little racist perhaps? Would I date a black man? What’s wrong with dating someone just for their appearance? How is Asian Fetish different than dating someone with big boobs or blonde hair?
Versus hmmm…my female friends..especially Asian American female friends-whose first reaction to Canadian White Guys’ comments were
“THAT’S DISGUSTING!”
“Dude. What is WRONG with him.”
“Oh. What. The. FUCK?”
“That is seriously fucked. I’m flying to Taiwan and kicking his ass for you. That is fucked.”
Honestly. That’s what I need to hear. Some fucking validation.
Just because you disapprove and are angry about Asian Fetish, doesn’t make you an ignorant dumbass person who doesn’t think SERIOUSLY and OBJECTIVELY about race. The fact that my close friend assumes that his comments are NOVEL..thought-provoking…insightful and new…forcing me to question a force that has infuriated me since puberty and confused me since childhood IS REALLY INSULTING.
No shit- like I haven’t had discussions like this in a billion million different forms throughout college, at a bar, some party, at the office, but usually directed at the Asian Fetish perpetrator. Never from a close friend!
Seriously, if a friend is UPSET about something-what would the purpose be in putting an already upset friend through the wringer? I mean, what is the agenda for all the interrogation?
I shouldn’t have to defend myself for feeling upset or angry. I can only blame myself for exposing myself to people and words that make me feel that way.
