Taipei One of the Top 10 Rudest Cities

People are sometimes skeptical when I bitch about how rude people in Taipei are.

"Yea, Helen...like New Yorkers are so nice to begin with."

And I always weakly defend myself by saying, " Well,I just felt that in NYC...people were actually more considerate."

WELL....THIS PROVES IT SUCKAHS!!!!!!

Let's Review:

NYC: Most Polite City.
Taipei:　7 out of the top 10 RUDEST CITIES IN THE WORLD.

This definately makes me feel better about getting whacked in the face with a sun parasol TWICE in the same day, and getting no apologies.

Albeit...this was a study based on Western standards for politeness....blah blah blah...and I think that in NYC, if you poked someone in the eye with your umbrella, you wouldn't be apologizing because it was "the way [you] were brought up". Nuh UH...if you were a real New Yorker you'd be doing it out of fear that your victim would say something like, "Excuse YOU..BITCH! FUCKIN' watch where you're going..stupid whore."

But yea, come on. If you drop a stack of papers on the ground and noone bothers to help you out...that's fuckin'cold.


Ha ha...this really shouldn't be news though. I mean, how could we have forgotten this???

The Not Gay, but MAGICAL Male Hair Sytlists of Love

Some more promotional pictures for those manly boys in The Magicians of Love.









The shoes! The hair! The man jewelry! THE EYELINER!

Simply HAWT.

The Magicians of Love

The Magicians of Love, whose ratings have proved it to be a hugely popular TV series in Taiwan, stars the handsome boys from Taiwanese boy group 183 Club, plus beautiful young actress Joanne Tseng. Three top hairstylists in town, Artz (Matt Lin, aka Ming Dao), Riche (Sam Wang), and Fernando (Jacky Chu) opens the "Neo-Image Hair Salon" just opposite to the traditional barber's shop run by Little Bei (Joanne Tseng) and her father. The new "Neo-Image Hair Salon" is also a big blow to Ming (Ehlo Huang), apprentice of Little Bei's father who always claims to be Little Bei's boyfriend. Worse still, Little Bei becomes attracted to the charismatic top hairstylists, especially Artz and Riche. What will become the future of Little Bei's shop - and her love life - in this highly entertaining romantic TV drama?

UM. I had a WHOLE snarky blog entry about this...but I think the official series synopsis pretty much speaks for itself.

:)

p.s.-OK, I can't help but say this though. A WHOLE ENTIRE series about heterosexual male hairdressers in MULLETS fighting over a girl with a FEMULLET?!?!?!?!

p.p.s.- oh, and if this show couldn't get any gayer....a more accurate Chinese translation for the series is The MAGICAL Hairdressers of Love .

I Am Alive

Man...you live a month without internet and it gets harder and harder to find time to contact your friends from home! BOOOOOOOOO Helen!!!!

I love you all still, and for the last friggin' time I AM NOT GOING NATIVE AND STAYING IN ASIA FOREVER!!!

Quick catch ups and shout outs to the following (I am such a lazy cow, I know):

Elyse- heeding your call I am blogging my ass off right now for you instead of sleeping. (Bitch-u better miss me now!)

Latrisse- it's so good to hear from you again. Next time I see you it'll be as if we saw each other just the week before. :)

Emily- your hospitality makes me weep from gratitude. Hong Kong Disneyland is SO ON!

Tariq-just got your mail...dude! Great to hear from you. We miss you here in this land of crazies.

JaSandra- I keep seeing whale and piscine inspired paraphernalia I want to buy you guys! I want to see pictures of the most recent performance, and thanks for the rundown of NYC 2006!

Lulu- I GOT YOUR PACKAGE! OMFG!!! DOMINOE MAGAZINE IS THE BEST BEST BEST!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH!!!!!! Miss u!!!!!!!!!

Joe- You BLOG that ass off!!! You're still an awesome writer! I love it.

Anika- so good talking again. Can't wait to see you.

And finally, here's some pictures of me to make all of you miss me EVEN MORE. (Eat your heart out Elyse, you COLD COLD SNAKE! MISS ME NOW!!??!!? LOL!)



I got new glasses...this makes me look insanely smarter. Better to fool people with!



I took up smoking!



Just kidding! Ciggy smoke still puts me to sleep faster than watching Chinese MTV. And I also want to preserve my sperm count.



The Real World: Taipei which consists of me, Katie, Danny, Leon and Cherie on our road trip out to Miaoli.



Developed mutant powers on my trip to Hong Kong.



As well as drinking powers. TEQUILA SHOTS WITH EMILY TING AGAIN!!! YAY!



And finally, here's a picture of the RANDOM sculpture Ellen and I found of Chiang Kai Shek in an alley. HOT!

Will blog more, will write more, will call more, will mail more.

Promise.

Love,
Helen :)

The LIGHTER Side of Losing My Powerbook...

...is being friends with my PC again. I FORGOT how wonderful my Dell laptop was!
(for those Mac Freaks, sit down...I didn't lose lose my powerbook. It's in the shop for F@#$$KIN' 7-10 DAYS because it STOPPED WORKING aka wouldn't turn on or stay on)

Right now I'm backing up old files, discovering forgotten artwork, half written stories, screenplays, work files, um, a break-up letter I wrote, old photos...

These old computers are like DIGITAL TIME CAPSULES.

Here's a relic from my days as an NYU student...the dogs of Washington Square Park:

Slang in Asia-Part 2

I was speaking in Chinese the other day...and my tongue tripped over the word for "criticize":

批評
English: to criticize
Pronunciation: Pi Ping

That's right folks...pi ping. Very close to pee peeing.

Hence, the birth of a new slang term for my life in Taiwan.

Pee Peeing
definition: to criticize in a very negative manner, sometimes associated with something Taiwanese that is so hideous, you would want to verbally deface/pee on it.
Usage:
"Stop pee peeing me for facts that you aren't even clear on."
"That outfit is so ugly, I can't resist pee peeing it."

phrases: "pee peeing on"
Usage: "She was pee peeing on the food at Taipei's New York City Bagels, because shite, man, their food and service is abominable!"

Give it UP for the DOG!

From my beautiful friend Lisa Kim, who is doing SO MUCH GOOD volunteering at the Glendale Humane Society.

That's her handsome boy, PIPER, left.


WHY DOGS DON'T LIVE AS LONG AS PEOPLE

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year- old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.
The dog's owners,Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying ofcancer. I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and
offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something fromthe experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter
than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up,"I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting
explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good
life -- like loving everybody all the time andbeing nice, right?"
The four-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly.

Thierry Kolpin, M.S.
Assistant Professor of Education
Assistant Chair Off-Campus


I sent this out initially to a small group of friends, and yeah, I think it got them all as misty eyed as me.

Now I'm INCREDIBLY SAPPILY DESPERATELY MISSING my OWN dog, Winne:



Luckily she's got a ways to go about loving everbody and being nice all the time. So that means I still have her around for a while. She's delightfully imperfect, greedy, lazy, snobby, flatulent, self-indulgent and did I say greedy? Ha! It's like I have a cat instead of a dog. But if she weren't all those things I wouldn't love her so much. :)

I Just Wanna Say...

I'M OKAY!!!!!


:)


Yea, so I've been upset lately. Sheeeyite...I'm human. But don'cha all worry. I'm nowhere near Girl Interrupted or Prozac Nation.

Thanks for all the people who popped up near and far who expressed their sympathy and concern. It really helped and it was much easier to stabilize myself knowing that there were people who could support me through my bummed out period.

I'm very thankful, and lucky.

Thank you.

love,
Helen

How My Mood is Lately

If you go outside and see a dude letting his dog take a dump on the sidewalk without bothering to clean it up-you'd be annoyed. But let's face it, you'd probably mind your own business and not say anything.

Now imagine, you're outside, and this same guy stands idly by while his Golden Retriever decides to drop TURD TORPEDOES all over your shoes.

Your first instinct is to probably FLIP OUT- SMEARING THE SHIT BACK ON the dog owner. FUCK YEAH!

How to get further incensed? Have some bystander analyze your actions and later derive that you have some big psychological chip on your shoulder who then prepares to lecture YOU, while IGNORING and SPARING the careless dog owner who started the whole damn mess by drenching you in shit.

This describes the injustice I've been feeling lately.

Thanks for all the people who commented or wrote me personally to say:
a) I was right to feel angry
b)that they wished physical harm on Canadian Dumbass and my friend who was less than understanding
and
c) that I should just fuck Taiwan and go back home.

Hmmm...I wholeheartedly agree with A. I can only half agree to B and C though. Give me some time though.

Rice-a-Hornies Upset Me

So the other day I had to restrain myself from projectile vomiting on this Canadian White Dude who made this bold, ABSOLUTE statement:

“Yea, I was just wondering the other day what it’d be like to be with a Black chick, I never dated Black before…no..no..sorry. It’s got to be Asian. ONLY Asians. Yea, I’m definitely more into Asians now.”

Oh no he DIDN’T. What the DAMN!? Women are PEOPLE! This isn’t like Sean John versus Vera Wang!

Living in Asia, and mingling with the English speaking community, I’m already resigned to the harsh reality that I’ve landed into the Mecca of Foreign Guys Who Have a Thing for Oriental Pussy Blossoms. Usually, they don’t bother me so much because they are generally smart enough to know that there’s an Asian Girl they want..and it ain’t me. They usually go for the girls with the weak English, not womanly..but GIRLY look, 100% Feminine no male traits, deferential, polite with a propensity to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT who adore/worship Western Men in blind devotion.

So yea, they want a Stepford Asian Fembot or some shite like that.

I already suspect a large number of Foreign Males that I know in Taipei have Yellow Fever. Dude, some of their MySpace profiles are like virtual harems. It’s like they collect Asian Girls as collector cards. BUT, they don’t go sniffing up my tree, and they don’t acknowledge or speak about Asian women in THAT WAY in front of me…perhaps they fear a swift kick in the groinal area or that I will most likely react as prey does next to a predator and RUN LIKE THE DICKENS. But I also prefer to think that by now they understand my personality more to know that as a person, this kind of talk would really ANNOY THE SHIT out of me and cause me some sort of emotional distress. So out of respect? I hope? They save this shit talk for their male buddies.

But this Canadian White Boy did not know better, and he’s lucky I didn’t verbally castrate him.

I didn’t at the time, because I was emotionally tired. And I know if there is truly one thing that is sissyphian and a BIG TIME WASTER, it’s convincing someone with Asian Fetish…that he/she has Asian Fetish. An even bigger time waster would have to be convincing a person who admits he/she has Asian Fetish…that it’s wrong.

They are not likely to change. No person with Asian Fetish in their right mind is going to listen to my tirade and say, “HOLY COW! You are PERFECTLY RIGHT about the way I live my life. I have been wrong about my highly limited views of Asian people…when you said that highly thought provoking informative sentence, you systematically cracked my entire belief system down…and now I am cured of this cursed Yellow Fever. Hallelulliah! Now I can appreciate ALL RACES. GOD BLESS YOU.”

Shit. If some dude ever said this to me un-ironically, my bet would be that he was just trying to sleep with me. Point is. This is highly unbelievable, and to all you people who think you can try, god bless your noble hearts, but I think it will just cause you a lot of frustration, sorrow, and white hair. Stay young and beautiful!


But what can you do instead? I recommend standing up for your right to ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET MAD. If it smells like shit, it is shit. If someone says something that makes you uncomfortable…that’s because the person is incapable of understanding how you feel or just doesn’t care..so you should tell that person before engaging in passive aggressive revenge tactics. (Spreading rumors about small penis size and pushing them in front of oncoming buses are some of them.)

In retrospect I should have just told Canadian White Dude to shut the hell up. Or just excuse myself. That was my mistake. Because while I can’t preach how someone ELSE should change the way they are psychologically, I can defend WHY I don’t want to hear this kind of shit talk and be exposed to this.

Which leads me to ANOTHER fucking headache…dealing with a close friend who seemingly refuses to VALIDATE my anger or reasons for feeling this anger. Maybe it’s because he’s a guy. Maybe it’s because he’s Asian himself and doesn’t seem to understand WHAT THE BIG DEAL is. If he’s fine with hearing his friend talk about Asian chicks like that, why shouldn’t I be fine with it?! I honestly think that is how he feels. Everytime lately when I bring up how POO it was to have to hear this bile spill from Canadian White Dude’s mouth, I’m the one who ends up having to defend myself. WTF?!

It’s so typical. A woman gets all huffy because a guy makes insensitive comments, and she’s OVERREACTING. Or worse, making something small seem bigger than it really is. Frankly, I can deal with Canadian White Dude better than with my friend right now. I’m not that personally invested in that character, he’s just ignorant, and we aren’t close.

But now my close friend is needling me. I have to define what is the difference between fetish and preference. Am I being a little racist perhaps? Would I date a black man? What’s wrong with dating someone just for their appearance? How is Asian Fetish different than dating someone with big boobs or blonde hair?

Versus hmmm…my female friends..especially Asian American female friends-whose first reaction to Canadian White Guys’ comments were
“THAT’S DISGUSTING!”
“Dude. What is WRONG with him.”
“Oh. What. The. FUCK?”
“That is seriously fucked. I’m flying to Taiwan and kicking his ass for you. That is fucked.”

Honestly. That’s what I need to hear. Some fucking validation.

Just because you disapprove and are angry about Asian Fetish, doesn’t make you an ignorant dumbass person who doesn’t think SERIOUSLY and OBJECTIVELY about race. The fact that my close friend assumes that his comments are NOVEL..thought-provoking…insightful and new…forcing me to question a force that has infuriated me since puberty and confused me since childhood IS REALLY INSULTING.

No shit- like I haven’t had discussions like this in a billion million different forms throughout college, at a bar, some party, at the office, but usually directed at the Asian Fetish perpetrator. Never from a close friend!

Seriously, if a friend is UPSET about something-what would the purpose be in putting an already upset friend through the wringer? I mean, what is the agenda for all the interrogation?

I shouldn’t have to defend myself for feeling upset or angry. I can only blame myself for exposing myself to people and words that make me feel that way.

I'm fascinated...with myself.

I'm bored as hell. Hence these funny little personality tests.

Consider this as a guide to who I am. Because we all know how accurate these tests are.


I guess the 30% is the part of me that is straight and finds John Stewart incredibly sexy...

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Wow. That cleared my gender confusion up. Shit. Where's my lipstick?

I've always suspected...

You Are Most Like Miranda!

While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first Guys are a distant third to your friends and career. And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses. Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen. Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect... But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

But does this mean I'm going to wind up gettin' knocked up, and then possibly leaving my husband for a lesbian lover down the line? Cynthia Nixon is AMAZING! But the rest of this is pretty much straight up true.


Instead I took the road of a selfish artist...

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

I feel like Madame Freakin' Curie..."PIERRE! We've discovered a NEW ELEMENT!"


Ok, now this makes me want to cry...

You Belong in New York City

You're an energetic, ambitious woman. And only NYC is fast enough for you. Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career Or simply take in all the city has to offer.

What City Do You Belong In?

Yes, as if I needed affirmation on THAT notion from a software program. I'm so NYC it hurts.

Listen to THIS, MotherBITCH...and MTVChi-WTF?!

Wow. I mean. Wow.

From what I could glean about Notorious MSG is that they're like Beastie Boys meets Long Duk Dong. On the surface they seem so GODDAMN OFFENSIVE, but if you look closer, like at their interesting interview with Gothamist.com it seems like they are fighting for Asian American issues that need to get more exposure. Sure, it's delivered as a joke, but underneath that joke a lot of issues like Chinese Food Delivery Fatalities and the fact that we don't drive motherfuckin' rickshaws as well as the,erm..apparent virility of the "Chinese Egg Roll" gets through to a more mainstream audience.

Plus, they're funny. Anyone who says their music "doesn't just get in your ears, it gets in your butt hole and VIBRATES" deserves a listen, right?!

On a side note. Mtv apparently launched a separate music channel for Chinese American Music. It's called..wait for it...MTVChi When did this happen?!

Personally, I have to wonder how effective minority interest entertainment channels like Logo, WE, Lifetime, BET, MTVChi are.
Sure the "gesture" that they're out there seems like the entertainment business is doing "something" to address us. But frankly, I have to wonder if by making these channels, big channels like MTV are only further avoiding responsibility of diversifying their own content. Like, if I have to watch the SAME GODDAMN Ashlee Simpson video on MTV and see the ZILLIONTH repeat of an MTV Cribs episode, what excuse is there to not put some Notorious MSG and MC Jin up there with it?

Also, as a Chinese American woman (yikes, I actually went there! ha!), I am not apt to go right to WE, O, Lifetime, MTVChi etc..for my programs. For example, I didn't find Notorious MSG off of MTVChi. I came across their interview with gothamist.com. Through Notorious MSG, that was how I even knew MTVChi EXISTED. Hey, isn't it supposed to work backwards? And isn't it strange that in TAIWAN I'm the first of my Asian American friends to hear about BOTH Notorious MSG AND MTVChi?

The only thing I think can redeem a channel like MTVChi is if they put on some original programming that attracts a general wide interest. Kinda what Queer Eye did for Bravo. Otherwise they're stuck with an "urban ghetto" status that will make it really hard for them to make any real impact.

www.notoriousmsg.com Apparently these boys will "sexually assualt your ears for free" in various shows around the States. Most recently my old digs, NYC. If anyone catches a show, let me know if they're good.

Helen Gets All Pissy Homesick This Week and Finds Something That Spells it ALL OUT WHY

Asian American Empowerment: ModelMinority.com - Postcard from Taiwan

This guy totally goes off on a rant explaining why he can't fit in Taiwan, even though he is Taiwanese American.

I agree with some of the things he says.

Not everything he says is true for everyone I have met. Luckily, I know a lot of people from Taiwan who do not fit his complaints (and you guys have helped me not fly out of here screaming)....but once again, this reflects why I fit better in NYC than I ever will here.

My roots just dont take to the soil here.

Nothing Asian..JUST FUNNY!

The Awful Forums - How to make Garfield funny....remove his thought balloons

Funniest thing I've seen in a while.

I used to LOVE reading Garfield comics. I thought they were funniest things on Earth. But then they kind of got too..trite for me?

Repurposing a childhood love for my modern day sensibilities...lovin' it.

Transformers...Asians in DISGUISE!

I went to a party this weekend at the BEST apartment I'd seen in Taipei.There were some really cool people there and I had a great time chilling in a HOUSE without stupid cover charges and cigarette smoke.

I didn't really talk at first when I got there, because I was feeling a little shy, so noone really talked to me either. I didn't think so much about it, until someone asked me where I was from.

"I'm from New Jersey."

All of a sudden I became a fascinating creature.

Everyone was infinitely tickled by that. Even further more when I said I was most recently from Brooklyn.

Then it dawned on me..."Oooh...they thought I was a local chica!"

To some of the foreigners who aren't Asian ethnically, I think it must be such a head trip when I start rambling in perfect English. English bred by NJ Valley Girl Mall Culture nonetheless. And to the others I guess they're just like, "Oh, cool. She's American. That explains the decent hair and lack of pastel in her wardrobe."

Ugh. I hated that. Yea, I can understand where the mistake lies. If anything, I have to remind myself to be more outgoing than I usually am to compensate for the fact I DON'T look American anymore. It definitely beats being ignored by a group of people from your country because they assume you don't speak the language or are an uninteresting local in their eyes. But it sucks that it has to be that way. But each time I do open my mouth, well, I hope everyone will remember those Asians back home who were actually cool and could speak perfect English. Yea...hey, we're in Taiwan too you know.

Either way, no matter where I go. If I drop my English bomb among locals or other Americans...I guess I stick out a bit more no matter what. Hahaha...maybe that's why I like to hang out with my friends who are crazier or as crazy as me.
There is something to be said about strength in numbers.

But seriously, this is why I blend in better in America than I do here. And why I don't think I'll ever feel 100% at home in Asia.

I think next time I go to a party where the majority of people are Non-Asian Foreigners, I'll pull a move like the Korean chick in Lost and PRETEND not to speak English, and then suddenly SHOCK N'AWE the crap out of everyone by dropping an English Bomb laced with profanities in the middle of the party.

No wait. I wouldn't be able to stand not being able to be myself: THE JERSEY GIRL.

BON JOVI RAWKS!!!! SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! AND YOU'RE TO BLAAAME. YOU GIVE LOOOOOVE.....A BAD-NAME.

Say My Name, Say My Name...

"Distinguished Bright Luminous Moral Relationship and Order"

I looked up the meaning of my Chinese name using the Yahoo Chinese-English Dictionary.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAA!

I sound like the Bhuddist Goddess of the Hearth. Watch out homewreckers, harlots and immoral coveters of neighbors' wives.
There's a new Sheriff in Town. Someone's got to keep our relationships moral and in order.

But you don't have to call me that or anything. Keep it simple.

I'll also answer to "Super Sparkly Nun".

Same diff, right????

Slang in Asia-Pt.1

Since living here, my friends and I have developed an extensive slang vocabulary to better articulate the flavors of the culture in Taipei, Taiwan:

Sars:
Short for Sorry.
"Sars I'm late, I forgot to turn on my alarm this morning."

Ahab:
Noun derived from Captain Ahab in Moby Dick who obsessively pursued the Big White Whale. Refers to a local women who specifically tries to get white foreign boyfriends or someone who has Western Fetish or an Americanizer.
" Gurl is such an Ahab. She goes after anything that's white. Can't she at least date someone foreign and not homeless looking??!"

Done Hwa'ed:
Phrase referring to hip and expensive Zhongxiao Dunhua area in Taipei where you will shop your salary away.
"Hwa" is the Mandarin Chinese word for "spend".
"I feel like shit. I up and done hwa'ed all my money yesterday on shoes and now I can't pay my rent."

Carnie:
Noun that describes a really square looking, usually older foreign guy scoping for young hot asian chicks. Derived from Carnegies, a bar in Taipei that has a reputation for lots of Local Asian Girl/Foreigner One Night Stands.
"OMG- that guy in the Members Only Jacket? TOTAL CARNIE! Hide your sister!"

Avian:
Adjective that describes a place of squalor that could easily breed filth and disease. Or a description of feeling ill yourself.
"I'm feeling a little avian right now after sitting on that bus with all the Asians coughing with their mouths open."

Dropping the English Bomb:
Phrase that describes the unique experience of being Asian and completely blending in..until you start speaking fluent English and the people around you snap their heads to stare.
"Shite...I just dropped the English bomb in the elevator when I answered your call and everyone stared at me like a freak."

Jap-Off:
Noun describing a contest usually between two Asian Americans of non-Japanese denomination to see who gets mistaken for being Japanese more while living in Taiwan. (Because if your Chinese sucks and you're Asian, you're obviously Japanese. No WAY are you American! Americans have blonde hair and blue eyes!)
"I WIN the Jap-Off! The 7-Eleven girl just said 'Arigato' to me when I left the store!"


Okay..that's it for now. More later. I promise.

Happy Chinese New Year of Stuffing Your Face!

Just to give everybody an idea of what I've been doing THIS WHOLE NEW YEAR'S so far.....


1.Duck Stew
2.Tiny Lobster Tails
3.Mussels
4. Roast Pork
5.Beef Stomach (i swear it's good!)
6. Snow Peas, Carrots, Mushrooms
7.Asparagus, Mushrooms, Bamboo
8. Squid
9.Chinese Sausages
10. Pork with 5 Layers
11. Yummy Oil Chicken
12. Beef Roast
13. Mom's Famous Roast Duck
14. Yummy Fish
15. Meatballs and Cabbage Soup
16. Japanese Apples
17. Asian Pears

And that's just the first night. Oh yowza.

Here are some closeups and alternate angles to give everyone a better idea of how crazy I went at the table.




Stay tuned for more food adventures this holiday!

Sweeping Out 2005

Following the Chinese New Year tradition, my whole company had to roll up their sleeves and pitch in to CLEAN AND SCRUB every nook, cranny, crevice and crack of our office clean before we all broke for the holidays. By doing this, we are removing all the bad luck that may have accumulated there over the past year.

I contributed mightily by documenting the process...aka running around taking pictures of everybody ELSE cleaning.

Here are some of the highlights:

YC and Mao attack the conference room.





Scott and Lucky clean a display model, while Scott disses it. "I'm not saying it's BAD, I'm only saying there is a lot of room for the artist to improve and I'd be MORE than willing to tell him how. MWAHHAHAHAA!"



Lucky finds a SPOT! Get it, get it get it!!!!


Dude, Michael. Are you working or talking to your girlfriend?!



I feel like I'm in Star Trek whenever I pass through this hallway.


To fit more workers, we installed these prison cells, I mean cubicles. UM...any suggestions on how to make them more FRIENDLY looking? How can we feng shui this place up?!



My boss' cubicle. LORD.



After everyone cleaned, the other manager and I examined their workspaces and gave them permission to leave.
I stuck around and took some pictures of all the toys in our office. Wow, the half naked anime girls are very popular.








I like this tradition. The whole company rolling up their sleeves and cleaning up our own accumulated mess together. That's a great way to end and start a year in my opinion.

Madonna Gets Super Spoofed on Japanese Television

Got this from one of our R&D guys who was HOWLING from his desk.
As my friend Eric would call it, this is so TFO- Total Fierceness Overload.

Fast forward past Madonna's performance and GO STRAIGHT to the Samurai Guy when he comes out.